Brian Prows

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Great White Sharks Return to Golden Gate Bridge

Great White Sharks returned to Bay Area
Great Walk Sharks Reappear Near Golden Gate.

Great White Sharks Return to Bay Area

Californian’s are a strange lot, no doubt, but neither earthquakes nor floods nor swine flu nor collapsing bridges bring us to our knees. And that goes for sharks too. We’re a hardy bunch here in the Bay Area and we treat recent reports of great whites poking around the Golden Gate Bridge like water off a duck’s (shark’s?) back.

Stanford University Tags Great White Sharks

Around ten years ago, researchers at Stanford University and UC Davis started tagging 179 white sharks to watch their migration from Hawaii to California to the shores of Montezuma.

Apparently the little critters–well, actually they grow up to to 15 feet long, weighing 4,000 pounds–have never been known to attack seals, sea lions, other animals in the Bay or human flesh. That’s contrary to the movies, of course, but who wants to see a movie about tame white sharks. Let’s see those teeth, guys.

Great White Sharks Give Us Hope

As I thought about the great whites swimming around the Golden Gate, I couldn’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed. Come on, we finally patched the Bay Bridge. It shouldn’t collapse for at least a few more years. The California economy is a little bit improved but struggling. They’re lots of  Herbert Hoover’s in Washington crying out: “Prosperity is just around the corner.”

Despite improvements in unemployment and the artichoke harvest, California is still basically broke. Voters and politicians gave legislators carte blanche credit cards. We’re running out of water and paying over $4 for gas. (Major refineries have cut back on gasoline production. How curious?  And now great white sharks have the audacity to enter our bay and take their time admiring the Golden Gate.

I think the great whites are a symbol of hope and despair, greatness and weakness, joy and sorrow. I think they came to help us out in our times of woe. There’s something magnificent about creatures that rule the seas without putting themselves in harm’s way. Our leaders in California and Washington might learn from the great whites how to be powerful, yet graceful, watchful but not paranoid, navigators, not invaders…and thrifty spenders of taxpayer money.

Perhaps the great whites remind us that despite wars, famine, hatred and mistrust, there’s still hope for a species that thinks itself superior to all others.

I’m glad the great whites came–for a visit–as long as they don’t stay too long.

Bridges Connect People in the Bay Area? Drain the Bay

Residents in the San Francisco Bay Area awoke again today not knowing how to quickly commutel from one side of the Bay to the other. The Bay Bridge, connecting Oakland/East Bay with San Francisco, was shut down again due to safety issues. (On Labor Day, the bridge was also closed to fix a dangerous section of the span.) The Bay Bridge is becoming a thorn in the sides of Bay Area residents–too old, not hip.

Living in the San Francisco Bay Area is like living on multiple islands. Tthe Pacific Ocean rushes under the Golden Gate Bridge, spreading itself in all directions, creating travel obstacles. The Bay is a gigantic barrier to hundreds of thousands who need to shuttle from one side to another each day.

Since the Bay Bridge is closed again, commuters clog alternative bridges, take BART (the Bay Area Rapid Transit rail system), other public transportation or helicopter if they’re rich like Larry Ellison at Oracle.

While residents once worked and played in their own backyards (no need for bridges there), we’ve become islands of people crossing water barriers. We skip across the Bay as if the Bay didn’t exist. We ignore it, the bridges that provide passage, disregard unknown communities at 65 mph.

If it were possible, some people would probably vote to turn the Golden Gate into a dam, drain the Bay and build super highways across barren, dry land. Just think of it: a 5 minute commute without water blocking us. Don’t just go east-to-west, go northeast-to-southwest.

Water fowl habitat? Estuaries? Marshes? Heck, who needs those? This is California. We’re on the move, tweeting on mobile phones to people we don’t know, watching dots–our virtual friends–on iPhone maps.

Think of the PR possibilities with a drained Bay. Instead of “the Bay Area,” we’d simply become “The Area” or, better yet, “The Silicon Valley Area” or SVA for short. Imagine the prestige, the glamor and the quick commutes.  No more islands of people separated by water. We’d become islands of people connected by concrete.

It all makes sense now. Time to drain the Bay, tear the bridges down and really live the good life California once promised.