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You are here: Home / health / “Learn More” on the Web Causes Brain Damage

“Learn More” on the Web Causes Brain Damage

learn more

Most Web users continuously encounter the phrase “learn more” on Google or other websites. It’s intended to entice readers to click for more information about a topic. For example, “Gmail lets you archive all your conversations so you can search for them at a later date…’learn more.’”

A recent Google search for “learn more” reveals the phrase appears 584 MILLION times. (Search = “learn more” + company name). Prominent websites with high use of “learn more” include:

  • USPS = 11 million (USPS feels there’s very little reason to learn more; each webpage is clear by itself.)
  • Comcast = 16 million (Comcast really doesn’t want anyone to learn more, although they use the phrase moderately)
  • Netflix = 20 million (Netflix is curious since the $7.95 per month is quite clear; the company must have written a lot about network neutraity.)
  • Microsoft = 78 million (Computer and tech firms strongly believe in using “learn more” as much as possible. With Microsoft’s current layoff announcement, the company will probably outsource out to maintain the learn more pages; Nokia’s mobile product managers also insisted on using the term frequently to better explain its line-up of smartphones.)
  • Hewlett–Packard = 119 million (HP’s computers, printers, other hardware and supplies–especially the price of ink replacements–require extensive explanatory material; thus, the enormous use of “learn more” on company webpages.)
  • State of California (all ca.gov websites) = 306 million (State governments, especially those with huge deficits, always require more extensive information to explain why things are the way they are; so it’s understandable why the State of California has copied tech companies in the use of “learn more.”)
  • Google = 437 million (Google feels that its customers should always want to “learn more.” With its large product line, Google frequently uses “learn more” several times on its webpages; the company is also testing the click-through rate of the phrase.) Even I am part of the trend with Google’s listing: Images for brian prows learn more
  • Facebook = 695 million (And, finally, the 1.X billion member social network Facebook. Its privacy policies, as everyone knows, are extremely complex; even game companies like Zynga have joined Facebook writers in the largest use of “learn more” found on the Web. The phrase also helps the 60% international audience better understand how to share the fun on FB.)

Learn More Leads to Mental Damage

To “learn more” opens up the “Internet of Things,” something you don’t want to unleash. Like Pandora’s box, clicking “learn more” will open a gigantic Cloud at a data center. From the Cloud will come torrents of things you don’t want to read or know or learn or memorize.

This causes an illness called “pervasive Cloud overkill” (PCO). PCO happens to numerous Web surfers who are analytical by nature and want to find answers to all questions before using a mobile app, Google product or, for that matter, a new fridge.  According to studies by the Don’t Learn More Health Society (DLMHS),  “Learn more” takes the mind on a one way no-return mind trip resulting in early PCO, followed by dementia and other nefarious diseases.

So whatever you do, never click on “learn more.” It’s o.k. to click “next page” or “continued” or even “read more.” These phrases tell the brain that there’s an end to information or content. “Learn more,” rather, implies a continuous, invasive entry of words, pictures and videos which attack neurons in the neocortex. Once reaching this stage, the “learn more” opt-in folks find themselves getting dizzy, then faint, before PCO starts neuronal damage.

This message is brought to you by the “Don’t Learn More” health society, a group dedicated to the preservation of the human brain’s ability to consume limited information on the Internet. To receive further information, please email [email protected]

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Filed Under: health, Internet, Technology Tagged With: learn more

About Brian Prows

Brian Prows teaches communication and public speaking courses in the San Francisco Bay Area. A native of California, he writes about technology, social issues, and debatable topics, an unending source of content in our times.

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